Hey Karin, I’m so delighted to write about this topic today. I was committed to write a blog on this particular topic, and as I sat down to write it, I realized I had nothing to write except that it’s a chant for 15 minutes amidst a beautiful waterscape. So then I decided I would chant along with Karin for 108 times for the next 21 days to experience it firsthand.
I've been a student of mindfulness for the past one year and a half and it has made me understand at least on a surface level, who I am, but it is with more practice and meditation that one can achieve a level of groundedness .
For me, however, every day has been a challenge in the last couple of years with situations that would be nothing short of disastrous Tsunamis hitting me one after the other. Amidst all of these was the one which I have now realized as Self Love. But back then I was so depressed about so many intense issues in my life. I would be so angry and deeply grieved that my husband did not love me, my parents loved my brothers more, my children did not listen to me, etc.,
This made me upset all the time. I would be crying within and dropping tears at the thought that I feel so lonely and there’s no one for me. I am all alone. Life’s so bad for me, everyone else had a beautiful life except me, my friends shared lovely photos of their loving relationships with their spouse and a happy family and I would immediately feel...Oh, I don’t have a happy family!. These thoughts and my negative self-talk attracted similar situations and so I decided to work on myself through Hoponopono on this problem
For 21 days I chanted ‘I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you’ for 108 times. Karin’s voice is so soothing in the video that I could feel the peace within me. The waterscape is so beautiful with nature living in the moment and I would look forward to those moments during the day when I would finish my chores and sit in the depth of myself.
Gradually things started shifting, within me and before I hit the 21st day, I realized that I do not need love, I am complete in myself, I am love itself, I am not dependent on anyone and the more I love myself, the more it will reflect outside. I would sit in deep peace now that I did not need love anymore from anyone else. I loved myself and felt deep healing in my heart. I stopped expecting and this knowledge set me free. By expecting others to love me I was utterly dependent on them and I was trying to drain their energy field and very frankly begging them as I did not know my true self.
My beliefs on self-love that I had set when young were very critiquing. I self-criticize myself for every little thing because that’s what I got to hear from my parents and even though some children would be very positive about what to believe I just swallowed what was thrown on me. Some of this gunk emerged within these 21 days and I could see them all. I started observing my negative thoughts and negative self-talk as a child and observed them. I wrote and burnt them. Gradually I started feeling free, more and more absorbed in myself.
I would spend hours with myself now not needing anyone to come and romance with me or play a picture-perfect role. I could see the love and concern in everyone’s eyes now and felt grateful for the feeling of being loved. I continued another set of 21 days to deepen my self-love. I could feel more and more love and honor pouring from outside, my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my self-love has attracted it all. Bless me. It took forty-one years to love myself……
I did a third phase of Hoponopono practice of 21 days to heal my fears related to my Sacral Chakra. During this time I gave my full attention to release all traumas and memories related to my sacral, and this walk guided me to release all those past memories, I have been withholding in me in the form of guilt. Even though I still have issues on self-love when somebody insults or criticizes me and I take it in if I am not Present or guilt issues, anger, envy, jealousy, etc., I have been able to separate my thoughts and feelings from who ‘I am’. It sure takes time, sometimes days and months to process these emotions but this realization of the observer that ‘I am’, separates the ego in me like clouds in the vast blue sky and I look at life thorough a cleaner lens.
I am so grateful to this Hawaiian practice, Hoponopono, for healing me, and Karin, whose belief in this spiritual practice, has taken me to a deeper state of realization, of cleansing my deep-seated wounds and allowing me to dance in my new found freedom.
I can’t thank you enough, Karin! All my gratitude to your Spirit Guides!